It ain’t always easy

Ephesians 4:29 KJV
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

Man, I needed this reminder about a week ago. I keep telling y’all Christians or believers are not perfect. Far from it, we are just able to accept and admit that we are sinners in need of a Savior. I for sure am one of them. My flesh rose up about a week or so ago despite me crying out to the Father to help me and keep me. When that time came, however, I failed miserably. I literally cussed somebody out and I haven’t done that, in that manner, in ages. Which is just another reminder that despite how long it’s been since you committed a sin, you are never that far removed from it, because we are not perfect. So, I acted unbecomingly, not Christlike at all, and in my sin, I felt justified. In my anger, I felt justified, but the word says be ye angry and sin not. I knew when those words escaped my mouth that I was going to be in trouble, but I could not and did not want to stop. The enemy has been picking at me with the smallest of things for months and I’ve turned the other cheek, I’ve prayed about it, I thought I had given it all to the Lord, but boy was I wrong. I had just done what I always do and I suppressed it. I hid it away in the darkest recesses of my mind to serve as fuel if I ever had the opportunity to release and boy did I?

I’m not proud of what I did and the Lord made me go and apologize. I even had to pray and ask the Lord to bridle my tongue then because there was still stuff I wanted to say, lol. Like I hadn’t said enough, but I was still so angry. I think it’s a combination of things too. Like, Lord, I don’t want to be in this situation. I didn’t want to be here in the first place because I knew it was going to be a problem and now this. Like, I think I was venting my frustration about God too. He made all these promises and we have seen none of them. It just looks like we’ve gone from the fire to the pan. It’s still hot and I don’t know what to do. He keeps sending encouraging words, but at some point you just want to get on with life and whatever it is you’re supposed to be doing. We have a heart for his people. We want to be out serving his people, but how can you do that when the situation you’re in does not lend itself to the cause? I don’t know.

What I do know is, we are never that far removed from our sins. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Whatever it may be. In my frustration I am also a stones throw away from smoking a cigarette and it’s been probably close to 7 or 8 years since I had an actual cigarette. Never too far removed. I’m telling you. Even when we stumble, we are supposed to get back up, repent, apologize and keep on moving. It should never be our intention to hurt someone else or attack someone else or make someone else stumble. Our walk/ life is supposed to point others to Jesus and we should own up to when we make mistakes and not act like we’re too holy to sin or our sin is not as bad as other people’s sins. Sin is sin. We are not better than anyone else. Get back up. God forgave you. Keep pressing forward.