What is there to be ashamed of?

Romans 1:16-17 KJV
For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. [17] For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith.

It’s said that this is the main principle of Romans. That if you understand this, you can understand all of Romans and I won’t lie; when I first tried to read Romans because you know they say it should be one of the first books you read, it used to confuse me. It was like Paul was speaking in riddles. I had to rely heavily on other translations and commentaries to get the full understanding, but if you ask me to try and explain it to someone…I will quickly tell you that is not my calling, lol. Because I normally pick up on stuff easily, by the grace of God, even reading the KJV, but Romans was one of those that I had to read and reread just to get an understanding. This part, I get.

I am not ashamed of the Gospel or the God I serve, even when the things that I do or have to endure look crazy to the people around me. I am not ashamed because I know where I should be at his moment. Where I could have been had he not saved me. So, I’m not offended when people call me crazy. I laugh, because sometimes I think I am too, but you have to be some type of crazy to believe wholeheartedly in a God you’ve never seen. To believe that he is real and will keep his promises. Especially when you’ve been through as much stuff as I have. I know it looks absolutely insane, because what good, loving father allows his kids to suffer at the hands of monsters? I get it. I used to ask that question myself. But God! Then he revealed himself to me in a way I had never seen before. When I truly started seeking him for myself and not through the lens of religion and self-righteousness, but truly seeking him with childlike awe and deep desperation for the truth…that’s when he revealed his heart to me. His heart for me. That is why, to this day, Jeremiah 29:11 remains one of if not my favorite scripture.

His plan for me is that I be reconciled to him. That I can go home to be with him when Jesus comes again, but in order to do that, the world has to be stripped from my heart and my soul. All the things that I should have never known or experienced have to be purged from my spirit. All of the demons/ spirits that I have come in covenant with and in contact with have to be banished and broken. I have to become who he originally intended me to be. If that requires heartbreak, then that is what I must endure. Jesus’ heart broke for his people. He wept when Lazarus died. God is not pleased with the suffering of his children. So, I bear the heartache with him. If it requires loving my friends and family despite the demons they carry, then love them I will. Jesus loved Judas, despite knowing his intentions. Judas still ate at the last supper, even though he was about to betray Jesus. Besides, I also learned that we suffer not just for ourselves, but for others who have or will encounter the same tests and trials so I can assist them in growing and healing from them. The children of Israel did not suffer slavery and the wilderness and allllllll of the many times they were invaded, captured, and scattered to the ends of the earth. It was also for an example to us some 2000+ years later. Abraham and Sarah did not have to deal with baby mama drama and bearing children in their old age for nothing. It was to show us what happens when we interfere with God’s plan, but how faithful he is to keep his word even when we disobey. In each story as well, there is a thread of hope. There was a blessing for their faithfulness. Testifying to his goodness when we choose to love him and obey him.

His mercy is so great that it extended not only to the Jews, his chosen but to the Gentiles as well. Those of us who would rather have worshiped ourselves and our own creations than to give honor and glory to the creator of it all. He opened the door through the death of his son so that we could become part of the family again. So, no, I am not ashamed of the Gospel. I (try to) walk by faith and not by sight. It’s not always easy, but I always have to think back to where he brought me from and then I’m good. It straightens me right out because I do not want to go back. As much fun as I thought I was having, it is not worth me going to hell. Period. Jesus is returning soon. It’s time to make a choice.