He’s always been there

Jeremiah 31:3 KJV
The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.

Man, Daddy just keeps coming with the words I need. Following him is not always easy and most of the time pretty lonely. I feel like I’ve been alone my whole life; misunderstood and overlooked. So, lately, he’s just been reminding me that he’s always been there and he’s always loved me even when I felt abandoned and alone. I have to say in hindsight, it definitely makes sense because if it were not for him, I promise I would not be here. It is only by his grace and mercy and his strength that I didn’t give up and made it this far.

Through all of my mess. Have mercy. He was always there. He never gave up on me. At my lowest, he was there and continued to sustain me when I was ready to give up for the millionth time. I’ve done some stuff foolishly just out of sheer rebellion.

I had to put this in, lol. Why did Yet by The King Will Come play as I’m typing this? Baby! I broke. Tears falling, snotting, couldn’t breathe; all the ugliness, lol. I just had to give God the glory. He is not a God of coincidence. He is very intentional and he is serious about his babies. That’s me. 🙋🏽‍♀️

Anyway as I was saying, I used to do dumb stuff out of rebellion, just to get God to say something, feel something, do something. Any sin that I thought would hurt him and not kill me, I tried and he was still there. I remember one time, I was doing something I should not have been doing and I remember hearing a voice say, what would you do if I came right now? Oh boy! I stayed a little longer, but not much longer. I hightailed it outta there. At first, I was just like, I’m going to hell anyway, but he would not let my spirit rest. He was like nah, get up out of there. So eventually I left. He was there through all of my debauchery and he forgave me every time. Thank you, Jesus! Because Lord knows I was a hot mess. He is definitely long-suffering because he could have removed the hedge and cut me off a million times, but he didn’t. He held on to me and loved me back to him. Praise God! It’s still not easy, but I know I’m not alone and that’s enough for me. As long as he is still by my side, I don’t need anyone else.

He is there for you as well. No matter where you go, he’s there. No matter what you do, he’s there. There is a phrase they always use in K-dramas (sssshhh, don’t judge me), I’ve been waiting for you to look back and see me. God is there, he’s just waiting for you to turn back and reach out for him. He never left us, we ran from him. He’s still waiting. There is still time. Choose him before it’s too late.